I fucking hate how I feel now. I need to act so that everybody will think that I'm ok. This is so tiring. Why should I even be like this. I can't stop thinking about what happen. Even though it's been a few months, but I still feel so scared. I feel a little relieve knowing that I'll not be in the same class as you, but every time I see you. I FUCKING THINK OF WHAT YOU DID TO ME. You fucking ruin my life. I fucking hate you. I hope I can go back to the past, not letting you sit with me. Nobody understand cause it never happen to them before. I feel so scared. I feel so dirty. My life's ruin. I don't even dare to tell anybody about it. I'm afraid of how people will think of me. I don't need anybody to pity me. Even if I speak up, who will know how I fucking feel now? Everybody's just gonna say cheer up, dont sad la. forget it. tell your mom. Does it even help? I don't even have the courage to tell Zh till now. Till he said those again. I seriously feel like shit. Just let me die.

I bet you treat every girl the same, I bet you tell each girl every sweet thing you said to me. I feel so lost. I hope I can keep a distance from you.